I have just been sad all morning. As I sat down to put on my makeup I was fighting back tears and trying to figure out what was going on and then it hit me...tomorrow will be the one year anniversary of when Mema passed away. I miss her so much. She was and is such a huge part of me. She's the first person that I've lost that I was really close to and I've been amazed throughout the past year at how many times I've wanted to call her or stop by and see her on my way through Plainview. I've had so many things happen that I've wanted to share with her and so many times, she was the first person I'd call. I loved sharing things about my baking business with her. She always encouraged me to keep on doing more and she always made me feel so special. I know she was proud of me and I was proud of her too. She was more than just my grandmother, she was one of my best friends. I'm so happy for her that she's not suffering anymore, but I still miss her so bad it hurts. I look forward to seeing her again one day. I always thought I'd be ready for this...I'm realistic and knew the day would come....I just didn't know how hard it would be. The emotions that I feel still are at times overwhelming, but I look at her picture that is on my bathroom mirror and feel as though she's still here. I think of her all the time and hope that I can someday be as good of a grandmother to my grandchildren as she was to me and all of us. I learned a lot from her and putting it all into words is hard, but anyone who knew her, knows what I am talking about. One thing for sure, she taught me how to grow older gracefully. Her body was in horrible shape, and she had plenty she could've been bitter and grouchy about, but every time one of us would walk into her room, she would light up and perk up and just be full of joy. She knew how to laugh at herself and she often did so...and to hear her laugh was a treasure all in itself! :) I'm proud to have known her and so thankful to have been able to have her in my life for over 40 years! God is so good!
Yes, God is good! I am praying for your heart to be lifted and for you to just have joy over all the wonderful cherished memories of her. Miss you friend.
ReplyDeleteThat's a beautiful tribute, Shana, one that all grandmothers would hope to hear from their grandchildren someday. I was very surprised that it's already been a year! I hope your spirits will lift a little when you think of her laughing. I think you'll be hearing that special laugh again someday! Love you!
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